“Cats are dangerous companions for writers because cat watching is a near-perfect method of writing avoidance.” – Dan Greenburg
“One cat just leads to another.” – Ernest Hemingway
My Mama writes too much! She says too many words. Her house is a wreck and her mind is sometimes a mess. Her desk is a tower of unpaid bills, unanswered correspondence, and stacks of cards never mailed to graduates, new moms, and birthday recipients. There are receipts, Band-Aids, business cards, and post-it notes written in a code language known only to her.
But that’s just the surface of her desk. Glance down a few feet. Towers of books and magazines sit by idly while awaiting their use as reference material or sources of inspiration. Their loneliness and lack of attention is obvious as the dust and spilled coffee stains upon their covers attest. In the old days they would have been perused for pleasure purposes, but now they are handled hurriedly and thrown back down when Mama gets frustrated.
Mama’s behind on laundry, and all the rooms are starting to look like a Goodwill store whose employees have been on strike for a month. Her refrigerator is barren, save the few science experiments festering in the back. The scraps were long ago ravaged by her hungry children who have found clever ways to sustain life; that is they’ll head over to the dining establishment with the golden arches faster than Morgan Spurlock can say “Super Size Me”.
Here’s the worst part: My dishes are empty! Both of them!
That’s right. No water, no food! Somebody needs to create and then call Social Services for Writers Cats! Desperate times call for desperate measures. There’s only one thing left that I can do:
It’s time for an intervention!
I jump up on Mama’s lap. She keeps petting the keyboard more than she does me! How utterly rude! I purr louder, and knead the gooey tummy dough at the top of her pants. Still nothing! Hmmmpphh! Fine then! I can type as well as she can. Watch this:
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What the furrball? She’s still going! It’s time to interrupt her line of sight. I’m going to jump up on her screen so she’ll be forced to see me. What’s this? She isn’t even writing her best seller? She was reading Facebook and searching for inspiration??
But she promised me she was working on The Great American Novel and I’d be dining on Fancy Feast out of crystal bowls for the rest of my days.
That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m going to jump down and turn off the…….
(PLAY THIS LINK AND YOU’LL KNOW): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-fTqAMND7g