That’s how I make my entrance sometimes. I often arrive late, having driven somewhere way too fast, with unkempt appearance, and a mouth that doesn’t know the meaning of the word restraint. I’ve been told lateness is a sign of arrogance, and a non-stop talker is self-centered, and lacks listening skills. As for appearance, well, maybe I’m just disorganized. Hmmm…maybe. Or possibly, I woke up a few years ago with less desire to impress others, and more desire to just be, well…..me!
If I met you right now at one of those corporate events where everyone wears a red and white tag “HELLO My name is__________”, mine would say Liz, written in Curlz font, courteousy of Sharpie pens, one of the best inventions on planet earth, but I digress. But there really should be an asterisk beside my name with a disclaimer at the bottom of the tag in fine print that states “Warning: Wordy Woman Approaching. Proceed at Your Own Risk!”
Within five minutes you and I will have exchanged our professional resume-in-a-nutshell (The Elevator Speech), our children’s names and gravity-defying accomplishments which we both will simultaneously obliterate from our brain upon hearing, and current political and weather news. Next I’m likely to throw a scripture verse your way, hurl a quote, or say something ridiculous trying to amuse, impress, or inspire you–perhaps out of nervousness, or just my usual habit of trying to fill in the gaps of silences, which will prompt you to laugh, but at what exactly you’ll think? Most likely, without your consent, or possibly even your awareness, I’ll be in overdrive trying to find that thing which connects us. Sorry; it’s just how I’m wired.
We’ll take our seats. The speaker will begin speaking and I will begin the arduous task of doodling (Yay-more Sharpie time!) while alternately taking notes, all while fits of inspiration collide in my head with moments of boredom, and just plain old distractions. I’ll be thinking about you a little bit, grateful to have made a new friend, though most likely our paths will never cross again, unless you Facebook. WAIT! Do you do Facebook too? In that case, I’m sure we’ll be best buds for at least a week. Maybe more if you put effort into it and I haven’t made plans to run a marathon, plan a trip to Kenya, finally learn to play guitar, etc.
You, upon taking your seat, on the other hand will most likely be thinking Okay, that was interesting. I’m not sure I necessarily agree with that. That chick really has a lot to say. You will sit down in your confusion wondering what just happened here.
Not to worry, it’s just me, Liz. Living life in one dimension and commenting on it as it happens in 3D, emphasis on D for Depth! In fact, Google “Through the Worm Hole” and you’ll realize there are quite possibly more than three dimensions. If you are brave enough to continue our conversation, possibly friendship, together we may solve at least a few of the world’s problems.
Welcome to Liz Logic. Excuse me, but did you happen to see where I put my Sharpie?